About - Reality Club

Why we founded Reality Club

The idea for Reality Club came from two busy, stressed out dad’s trying to make sense of life as a modern parent living through the pressure of modern society, global pandemics and economic, political and environmental turmoil. Every week we would meet to train and share our challenges, how we had faced them and how we were trying to overcome them.

It aims to offer practical tools and tips to help stressed out dad’s and super mums work modern life as a parent out and help themselves.

Reality Club isn’t advice, we are not professionals in mental health and do not claim to be. We also aren’t trying to be perfect but just trying to get better every day. Finally, we aren’t ‘pushing’ a particular philosophy or approach but rather present a framework of simple principles and scenarios based on our experiences and observations. We are users of NLP, mindfulness, meditation and other techniques though (to name but a few), but it is really a toolbox depending on what works for each individual to help with a specific problem or challenge.

If you need urgent help, please ask an expert – you can find additional information via the NHS Mental Health services webpage.

If you are in West Yorkshire and need support with suicidal thoughts, are in crisis, have been bereaved by suicide or are seeking suicide prevention training, visit the West Yorkshire Suicide Prevention website.

Problem

Modern society, Covid and Putin have created a new false reality where people are hiding and trying to suppress anxiety
People try and distract themselves by giving constant attention to their phone, social media, binging and trying to plan their way out by doing more and more and more
The result is that people forget about enjoying the simple things in life and deprioritise dealing with how they ‘really’ feel
The more people turn to distractions, the worse they feel; This can cause significant issues in terms of our mental health.

People have forgotten how to think or are choosing not to in vast numbers. Why is this?

When challenged they can’t explain why they do the things they do or what they claim they believe in. So why do they do them?

Most people do not prioritise reflecting on their lives, actions and the choices they make. They don’t take the time to understand things.

If you don’t think about things you’ll never understand them. Things like the problems and changes facing us in our lives, those around us (and our relationship with them) and how we spend our time.

Increasingly we are living in a bubble created by technology companies and politicians which seeks to discourage us from thinking. Sometimes this is a by-product of helping us solve real problems in our lives but sometimes they are also insidious and malicious reasons. Often those ultimately benefiting are not us.

Modern society is based on libertarianism, this good as it promotes political freedom and choice but it also promotes selfishness and greed. There is often little focus by the individual on the good of the collective or others. The processes and systems are not fit for the modern times we live in however thus it is up to the individual to make sense of the world in which he or she finds themselves in. To build personal resilience, to think for others and protect themselves and families from the chaos.

Benefits

Better understand yourself: How to get the most out of your life, make better decisions and prioritise the things that really matter in life
Better understand those around you, their motivations and their behaviors
Learn to maximise opportunities to think; Understand which environments and actions help you think (e.g running or walking), reflect (silence or meditation) and problem solve
Understand how to switch between living and thinking in the present and the future (mindfulness to visualisation)
Improve and articulate to others why you hold the views you do and what they are in order to help you collaborate and learn from others.

About the Founders

Paul Featherstone

I have worked in a number of different fields over my 20 + year career and now help coach and mentor IT leaders to grow their businesses.

My passion centers on helping people solve problems whether they be how to overcome a personal doubt of ability to succeed at a challenge or a practical exercise in scaling several teams to build IT.

Being a busy father of 2 beautiful, young children is tough when you have your own business. It is easy to fall into bad habits and hard to break bad cycles. Like many others, every day I seek to learn, share knowledge and help as many people around me as I can to lead a happier and more fulfilled life.

See my consultancy website to find out more about my professional services.

John Kay

From the age of 6 I have been involved in sport and fitness. Until the age of 18 I swam, competing at regional level for Yorkshire in the UK. During my late teens, I trained myself in bodybuilding and at the age of 26, I entered the fitness industry which I’ve worked in for the last 21 years. Firstly working for a global gym chain, I later developed my own business working one-to-one with clients as a personal trainer.

Through working with my clients, I realised that a healthy body was only part of what my clients were looking for. Without a healthy mind they would be held back in meeting both their physical and mental goals in life.

My background gives me the positive mindset that I have towards life, but not just that it allows me to inspire others to also adopt a positive mindset.

I am a member of the American Board of Neuro-Linguistic Programming which is an American organization that certifies the quality of the trainings of Neuro Linguistic Programming in the world and the competence of its trainers. I am also a qualified Time Line Therapy Practitioner (Time Line Therapy is a trademark).

Visit my coaching website to find out more about my professional services.

Principles

Reality Club is based on 11 principles which have been derived from our experiences as stressed out dads living through challenging times, these are:

You can find out more about each by reading the full Reality Manifesto.