Where do you start with planning holidays?

Looking ahead to future opportunities to spend some time with your partner and kids should be a positive experience, but this often isn’t the case.

We can end up with planxiety, getting caught between the benefits of structuring our valuable free time and ‘over planning’ where we risk making things more stressful than they need to be.

At the same time we feel pressure to plan based on FOMO, wanting to conform to what everyone else ‘seems’ to be doing and a fear of being left with totally unplanned, unstructured time off work with bored and restless kids. Our anxieties can start to dictate our thoughts and behaviour at this point.

We look at pictures of other families all having fun in the sun, but remember – as psychologist Daniel Kahneman says – ‘what you see is all there is’. There are no pictures of screaming kids at the airport or the looks of horror when the the suitcases go missing.

So let’s ask ourselves: “How do we make holiday planning as free from stress and anxiety as possible?”.

Let’s start with some simple methods to try and questions we can ask ourselves.

Can you make planning a joint activity?

It often falls to one partner to plan holidays, especially when children are involved. So first ask: can we make planning more of a partnership? Can we talk through as a team and look at sharing the load?

Can you simplify things?

Does planning and creating structure for our holidays mean we have to do the bells and whistles? What about planning to do some of the simple activities which help you get back to reality?

Can you reframe negative thoughts?

We can’t always change our circumstances (e.g. having young children who don’t travel well) but we can change how we think about it. Can you reframe your negative thoughts about holidays by taking a step back and thinking more objectively or perhaps by working with your partner to help give their perspective which may be more positive.

Can you accept your circumstances?

Children mean more things to pack and more to think about, that can cause stress. Even booking holidays with our without kids can be stressful due to FOMO and the cost of travel and accommodation which only ever seems to increase. Can you try and accept your circumstances and move on from negative thoughts about them.

Read more about planning not to plan.