I wandered around the shoe department of a very expensive department store earlier this week. I casually picked up pairs of shoes which cost more than many people earn in a week.
As I looked around at the people trying the shoes on, I pondered if spending this much on shoes would really make them happy or if it was just a brief ‘hit’ of pleasure which passes with time.
My personal journey has been one of realisation. I have realised that I didn’t want the next piece of chocolate or gin and tonic or a bigger and bigger house, I wanted more. This helped me stop the bingeing which was causing other negative effects.
The trouble with always wanting more
The trouble with always wanting more is that more is never enough. It is the ultimate itch that we can’t scratch. Also more can have some pretty damaging consequences to our mental and physical worlds too.
We have all heard of the story of the materially rich person who is very unhappy. When there are no constraints then infinite more doesn’t seem quite as good – it is no longer a challenge and a pursuit worth focusing on (what’s the point if you can have anything when you want it).
We also risk wasting precious resources which in today’s world has much bigger consequences on our physical environment.
Constantly wanting more is a mindset – like the time when you catch yourself eating another chocolate and you think why am I even eating this I am not even hungry. It is your mind in control which has nothing to do with hunger! Then we are at the mercy of our minds.
It distracts us from enjoying the now, we are always thinking about how we can get more and more. This way of thinking also makes us less likely to enjoy the good things we already have.
Finally, it is ultimately a futile way of thinking about achieving longer-term happiness as once we have our short burst of pleasure, we return to a default level of happiness. Psychologists call this hedonic adaptation and the hedonic treadmill.
A different perspective
But you can escape the hedonic treadmill!
You can train your mind to be happy with what you already have and learn to live in the moment where we deal with our real lives, the ups and the downs.
Mindfulness can help increase awareness of your thoughts and feelings as they happen moment to moment.
Find out more about Mindfulness on the NHS website.
You can also take a look at the Reality Club Circle of Distraction to help become aware of some of the things that might be taking you further away from the now and driving your need for more.
#distractions #mindfulness #hedonic
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